The Deepest Joy

Whew! Easter has come and gone in our part of the world, and I for one am pooped. I'm pretty sure I say this after every holiday, but gosh, these holiday things are WORK I tell ya! Clean the house, cook x,y & z, host such and such event, put on extra eye de-puffer Sunday morning and do it all over again pretending you're not completely exhausted. Mom, seriously, A+ for all the years you did this when I was a kid, and then continued to mooch off of your holidays as an adult. Maybe over time you just get used to the holiday exhaustion?

On the flip side though, we did have such a special weekend. We started by hosting some of our favorite Hani college students for an Easter party Friday night, where we decorated cookies, dyed eggs, and then hunted eggs. Below is my cutie husband who decorated his cookies with a picture of our baby (insert collective ahhh here).

Perhaps the most special part of the night however, was walking our friends through the meaning of the Resurrection eggs that they had hunted. In addition to the symbol within each egg, we had printed the corresponding verse in Chinese. As they opened their eggs, Baxter shared the story of Easter and what the symbols meant, while I finished by sharing what this truth means to us. Seeing these students that I love so much hearing such an unbelievable story for the first time was a high and holy moment for us, and I found myself in awe that God would allow us the privilege to be bearers of this profound Truth. We know that so often journeys of faith and understanding are long ones, and as we finished we shared our willingness to continue the telling of this story, and are praying that seeds and questions would grow wild in these dear hearts.

Sunday morning it was our turn to host a holiday for our foreign community, so we welcomed 25ish into our home for a light breakfast, egg hunt, worship and potluck. Due to some much needed but plan-complicating rain, the kids hunted 100+ eggs inside, and I think by the end of the day our spill count was nearing close to ten. Here's a picture of the mongrels, I mean kids just so you can see a bit of the sugar-induced madness. It was wild, but a really precious time to celebrate such a meaningful holiday together.

Although I could have slumped over in my chair at multiple points throughout the weekend, I couldn't help but be filled with a deep and radiating gratitude. As I sat in worship yesterday with my hand resting on my 20 week pregnant belly feeling tiny kicks next to my husband that I absolutely adore, worshiping a God who rose despite all doubts and expectations so that we might know true freedom and life, all of a sudden my tiredness paled in comparison to the joy washing over me.

I will admit to a roller coaster of emotions the past several weeks, as I have felt flooded with questions and doubts. Clearly we are thrilled about this baby, but the things to be done and changes that it will mean for our life have been somewhat overwhelming. From simple things like which bottle is best and how/where to buy it, to how will my role in our work change have chased my days, leaving me sometimes feeling overcome and impotent. But yesterday as I evaluated the richness of new life, both within and around me, I came to see again the true beauty and necessity of dying to so many things. My expectations, questions, and doubts have no place in light of what Christ is desiring to do in me. Because of Christ and what we celebrated yesterday, we can confidently proclaim that death gives way to a deeper fullness than we could have ever imagined.  Easter is the promise that we are assured of new and better things when we willingly take on both the life and death of Jesus.

I know that this baby is going to change who I am, what I do, and the way I see the world in unimaginable ways. But, what I also know to be true, is that in this release and putting off of the old - newness comes. Hope springs forth, and just as He was and is so faithful to do - new life fills up and spills over  absolutely everything.

Come quickly Lord Jesus, risen Lord and sacrificial Lamb. Teach me to walk in all of your ways, embracing even the roughest of crosses so that I may know the sweetness of your presence every day, and ultimately the deepest joy of your risen life.