A Letter to Our Baby

Dear Baby,

Well, it's 4:30 pm on your due date, but apparently we forgot tell you that. I have a distinct feeling that although you're not here yet parenthood has officially begun, and you are the universe's way of reminding us just how little control we have over pretty much anything. I'm trying to be ok with that, but honestly between the peeing every 10 minutes, the sore parts and my constantly constricting mid-section I'm just so stinkin' ready to meet you. Now don't get me wrong, pregnancy has been more wonderful than I thought possible. You have been so good to me, in that my morning sickness was minimal, my energy has been high, and even here at 40 weeks I still feel relatively great. Thanks for that, and for not making my face too puffy, although I suppose there's still time for that to happen.

It's hard to be mad you're not here yet, when I know deep in my heart that you were created in the image of one who knows so much better than I. I wake up every morning and just stare at the empty crib beside me, sad that you're not there to marvel at how miraculous and perfect you are. I'm just dying to see you, and still pray every day that if you're a boy you will look just like your Daddy. He is simply the best looking guy I know, and I might just die if you come out fuzzy headed and looking like a disgruntled old man like he did.

See, what you should know is that patience and not being in control has never been your mother's strong suit. I'm a planner and a perfectionist who likes things to go just the way I plan, hence my anguish that you're not here on my preferred time table. But again, I'm learning that I am not the ultimate planner of your little life, and for that, I'm also learning to be thankful. As I wait and ache to hold you, I'm learning to trust that at this point in your life you are wholly obedient to your Creator, which is an incredible thing. I'm learning that my heart and my perspective must be placed in the Master's hand, or otherwise I am a hopeless mess convinced I'll be pregnant forever. I'm learning that the best things truly are worth the wait, and you my angel, are one of those best things.

So until you decide to "crack out" (as your cousin Grace has put it), know that we are here waiting and wishing for you. You are the sweetest gift already, and we've never even held you. Thank you for reminding us that our God is greater, stronger, and higher, and that for now and always, in His hands and in His timing is simply the best place you could be.

Love,

Your Sappy Mom